Anxiety… There’s no doubt that this emotion has become a global epidemic in recent years. And unfortunately, summer vacation is one of the factors contributing to the rise in anxiety levels. 

As in every year, the summer vacation presents a unique challenge for parents, especially those of teenagers, who want to take advantage of this time for freedom and independence, alongside the natural need for structure and support. Many parents often find themselves grappling with dilemmas and pressures related to time management, teaching responsibility, and resolving conflicts. And if that weren’t enough, this coming summer vacation is anything but typical. The ongoing war, the sense of loss and mourning, the hardship of the evacuees—these factors add emotional burdens not just on parents, but also on their children. 

So, how do we manage anxiety and not let it manage us? In this article, we will explain some of the main factors contributing to anxiety during the summer vacation—not only among teenagers but also among parents—and offer ways to cope. 

Transitioning from a Structured Routine to Chaos 

During the school year, children and teenagers follow a structured daily routine that includes study times, classes, exams, extracurricular activities, and rest periods. The summer vacation drastically alters this routine, which can cause discomfort, confusion, and uncertainty, particularly for children and teens who rely on a stable routine to feel safe and secure. The feeling of boredom can exacerbate anxiety, as there are no activities to distract from troubling thoughts. 

Social Anxiety 

The summer vacation is characterized by numerous social events such as parties, meetups, and trips that teens are invited to or expect to attend. If teens feel that they won’t meet the social expectations associated with these gatherings, anxiety may arise. At the same time, during this period, friends travel on vacations, participate in different activities, and not all of them are aligned. These changes can lead to feelings of disconnection and loneliness, particularly among those who, for various reasons, do not take part in similar activities. Uncertainty about meeting friends and participating in social activities can also lead to anxiety and social concerns. On the other hand, children who experience social anxiety and loneliness during the school year may experience these feelings more intensely in the summer; at school, they are in a social environment, but during the vacation, when they aren’t around their peers, feelings of isolation and emptiness can increase. 

Contagious Anxiety 

And what about your anxiety, parents? The lack of structure and the relaxation of boundaries also stress you out. You fear that the family’s daily routine will be disrupted (and rightly so, especially if you have younger children whose daily schedule is quite different). You worry that your children will spend too much time on screens or wander the streets at odd hours. You’re concerned about the risks involved in social gatherings, potential exposure to alcohol, and more. If we add the existential anxiety caused by the painful reality of the current situation, it’s no wonder that we’re all ticking anxiety bombs. The thing is, as adults, our behavior significantly impacts our children. High levels of anxiety in parents will manifest in their children, whether consciously or subconsciously. 

So After We’ve Panicked, Our Hearts Have Raced, and Maybe We’ve Shed a Tear – What Do We Do? 

Anxiety isn’t a dirty word; it’s a natural emotion that floods us when reality doesn’t align with our expectations and desires. Fortunately, we know that one of the best ways to cope with anxiety is through planning and setting expectations. When we plan goals, actions, and responses for different situations, it becomes easier to navigate the changing reality. 

Advanced planning includes setting goals and objectives for the summer, such as developing new hobbies, dedicating time to activities that get neglected during the school year, strengthening social skills, and more. Sit down with your teens for a shared discussion. Ask them to share their goals and wishes for the summer. At the same time, share your expectations and goals with them, and together decide on a framework that, on the one hand, provides a daily schedule and boundaries but, on the other hand, allows for flexibility and room for spontaneity. 

Remember, the summer vacation is an excellent opportunity to develop your teens’ independence and responsibility. To achieve this, you as parents need to be flexible and willing to compromise. 

Of course, if the anxiety doesn’t subside and interferes with daily functioning—whether yours as parents or your children’s—don’t hesitate to seek help from a support figure. And remember, for every Saturday, there’s a Motzei Shabbat (Saturday night), and for every summer vacation, there’s the first of September (unless there’s a strike, of course…).